Resolutions and Promises

I've decided that 2012 is my year. I don't care that half the world (including my mother) thinks that the world will end in 2012. I know where I'm going if the world does end so why would I worry about this? 2012 is mine.

 Resolutions for this year:

• Stop smoking [I can do this anytime I want, I swear. It's a social thing. Maybe I should just stop hanging out with my smoker friends. haha]
• Lose weight [a never ending battle from the time I was 12. So we're looking at 10+ years that I've known I'm not good enough because the number on the scale is too high.]
• Get my finances under control [not easy because my parents aren't exactly great role models in this area]
• Keep my house clean [I seriously HATE doing laundry]
• Grow in my faith [Yeah, I realize that should have been #1...I won't edit that now. I know it should have been #1, and it wasn't. This will be a nice reminder that I've got some serious work to do.]
• Do a better job of keeping in touch with my family and friends
• Find one thing every day to be genuinely happy about, document it somewhere, and rejoice in my blessings.

I'm sure there are more...maybe I'll add to that list later.

2012 bucket list:

• See my brother play basketball
• Buy a car
• Find a new roommate by September/find more affordable housing
• Take a vacation
• Fall in love with me so that someone else can fall in love with me too
• Read the Bible cover to cover
• Find a new job.

Again, I know there have to be more....look for an update later.

2012 Promises to Myself:

• I promise to not cheat myself out of financial security for a good time.
• I promise to love myself every day.
• I promise to surround myself with positive people.
• I promise to continue believing  that above all else, I was put on this earth to love my God and love people. I will continue to avoid judging others for their lives/choices/preferences/etc.
• I promise to be truthful in my interactions with others.
• I promise to find joy in everyday things.
• I promise to treat others as I would want to be treated.
• I promise to remember God's truths and not be discouraged by his timing.
• I promise to keep no records of wrongs and love people through all circumstances--especially when I am wronged.
• I promise to be appropriate in my evaluation of myself while attempting to  lose weight.
• I promise to be open to new experiences.

And again, there are more...but this is a good starting point.

Now you know a little more about me.

Why am I blogging about this?

So, here I am:

• Female in my mid-twenties
• Christian (I'm not perfect, but I love Jesus and I want so badly to be better than I am)
• Not as successful as I hoped
• Good at my job, but it's just a job...not a career
• Unsure of where I want to be  in 10 years
• Good friends, but suddenly lacking a "person" (I'll get to that later)
• Struggling with this overwhelming discomfort in my life causing incredible heartache
• and....STILL SINGLE.

So why am I blogging about it? I've come to a point in my life where I no longer have anyone to talk to about my feelings and my life and I can't afford a therapist. So I come here [anonymously, of course] to find some refuge from my pitiful life that I thought would be much more glamorous by now.

All of my posts won't be about me being a sad-sack. I'm content in my life. I'm thankful and I know I'm loved and I feel blessed everyday. I'll tell you about my trials and tribulations in dating (I swear I can't make this stuff up), and I'll tell you all about what is on my heart.

I used to not be at all scared to say what came to my head or my heart. Now, I worry. I worry about losing the people I love. Why? Well, because I have exactly one friend that I still maintin contact with from highschool, none before that. And truthfully, I have 3 or 4 friends from college that I keep up with regularly despite the fact that I am a sorority girl and was Student Body President. I have a few friends here now, but I still get lonely.
This is going to be my completely uncensored letter to myself. If no one reads it, fine. If everyone reads it, fine. I just can't keep it in anymore.

Additionally, I've decided that 2012 is my year. I'm making promises to myself and I'm trusting that God will make and keep promises to me too. It's going to be a bumpy ride, but I'm excited to get the ball rolling.